I am not the kind of guy that believes in things like: “Ignore your problems and they will disappear.” I am that kind of guy that if I have a problem, I identify it and focus on the solution.
There are some psychologies that encourage the ignorance approach. Thinking that will be OK while not doing something to make it OK, it’s just childish.
That’s why I strongly encourage to be aware of what you do to properly progress. Talking about an emotion that you don’t like (because there are no bad emotions, in fact, there are just unpleasant ones), there is a reason why those emotions are there. There are some cases where is an irrational reason and it’s absolutely based on nothing, but these will disappear while trying to understand them.
The worst thing you can do is to try to run from your own emotions. This will make you stop progressing, making the same mistakes over and over and feeling worse over time. Let’s focus on understanding our emotions to have the life we dream about.
Why do I feel bad?
This is the first question you have to ask yourself when you have a bad mood. Why do you feel that way? Respond in a way that’s centered around your own actions. Because no, nobody and nothing made you feel that way but yourself. You responded to something by creating this mood you are in.
What’s the situation that triggered that unpleasant feeling? Maybe it was a bad decision on your behalf. Maybe you don’t have the best attitude towards something you can’t change in life. Maybe you don’t do enough for your dreams or your loved ones. Whatever it is, the first step into overcoming an unpleasant state is to understand it.
You have to be brutally honest with yourself, but in the same time don’t make it worse than it is. Plain and simple, the actual reason you don’t like that thing. Pinpoint it accurately and you feel calm inside when you find it. If your mind is unclear, exercise and meditate, then find the reason.
What can I do to feel better?
After we identified the problem we focus on the solution. What can I do to feel better? How can I do better in that situation? How can I become a better version of myself? What can I learn from this? What is the best attitude that I can have to see this as a challenge to sculpt my character and my soul? How do I react instead if I’m the best version of myself? Deal with it, get over it. Be prepared and aware.
There’s nothing in this world you can’t do better. Your love life, financial life, physical life, mental life, those hobbies, everything can be improved. Once you progress, once you identify those areas in your life that need improvement you will feel good no matter what happens around you.
Difficulties will come, they are a part of life! But the point is that we become stronger with each and every one of them.
Do you think successful people have more luck than those that fail? Or the happiest have more opportunities? Sure there are some people who suffer deeply to war, hunger and thirst, but even in these hard conditions, there are proofs that human spirit can overcome any kind of obstacle. But we are talking about us, the blessed ones that have all the beautiful conditions to achieve anything we want.
So there are some that have more luck, abilities, whatever? NO. They just use more, take advantages of more opportunities, they appreciate more what they have, they give the best out of them with every opportunity and they get the best results they can get. And they never give up. Also, they react in the best way possible to unpleasant situations.
It’s not about what happens around you, it’s how you react to it. It’s your decision, my decision and everybody’s to react how we want. Nobody can alter the power of free will. God gave us this power to do what we want out of it. So it’s within your power to choose how do you react to things around you.
There are some situations that we don’t like and can’t change them, but we can change our attitude towards it.
Still, most of the times are our daily habits that guide and sculpts our lives. Let’s be honest about it, unexpected things happen barely 10% of the time at the peak level. What we program ourselves to have in our heart, in our mind, what we routinely push ourselves to do, that’s the majority. This will bring our results. Not some random thing that happens once in a while and it’s out of our control. Randomness is natural, and even if that random thing can affect you in short-term, in the long-term it has no power.
Think about it. Five years from now, what will have an impact? Your decisions or some random event that happens around you?
The only power is your decision. It’s essential to study your behavior and your emotions, to properly understand when and what you need to change to progress. Because you see, the emotional intelligence is powerful and necessary. Our gut knows more than our minds.
Have you ever seen a happy person that can’t understand their emotions? No, and you will never will. Mastering your heart is the key to success and happiness. Because only by mastering your emotions you know what you need to change in your life to progress.
This is my message: Don’t run away from whatever feelings you don’t like. Don’t try to bury them somewhere deep in your heart, because that’s just like trying to bury a volcano. But instead, try to understand your emotions and the reasons behind them. Sometimes there are just irrational, that once get revealed they quickly disappear. Some are a wise teacher that show us what we don’t like to have in life, what we should avoid and what areas we should improve. And sometimes they are simple warnings that should alert us in a protective way. Mastering your emotions equals mastering your life.
Now is your turn: How is this article helpful and what changes will you apply to your life? How do you deal with hurtful emotions? Share it with us in the comments and I will be sure to follow up.