He should tell her that he will never convert, and that if she will not be happy unless he does, the relationship should end. In the long run, being married to a nonmember has made me a better person. I hope it all works out for you. It seems like a minor point, but I have noticed that every Mormon girl who disobeys the Mormon direction to avoid coffee has something majorly wrong with her. Pay for the first few dates. You would be her back up plan in case she can't find a guy who is a returned missionary, preferably from a prominent LDS family. But DON'T become in need of care as a spouse. There is no moral issue here.
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Otherwise you're just denying them eternal salvation in their eyes. Any advice from people who have gone through this would be awesome. Having said that, I believe strongly that it takes a special individual who can remain active in the church and have a non-traditional marriage. As for conversion, she just spent every waking second thinking about converting people.
There have been times in my marriage where I have been frustrated and angry by his lack of change. Going along with her cult might feel fine when it is just you in her, but if you have kids, it will be very different. I'd just like to add that unless you're happy being with her as a full believing Mormon, don't stick around in the hopes that she'll de-convert. I am getting increasingly more resentful of the times I think he can choose us instead of residency.
I could get a small jigsaw puzzle and send those pieces once a day. Marriage to the right person is wonderful. Topics like race and polygamy have been "adequately" explained away, so I don't think we'd get anywhere discussing those things.